Tuesday, May 25, 2004

What Liberal Bias!? Oh, That One...

Guess what? Liberals far outnumber conservatives in the news business. Surprise. Shock and awe. What a revelation.

Conservatives have known for years that liberals slant the news farther to the left than Mark and now the Pew Research Center, with a new survey, pretty much confirms what we knew.

CNN, the Communist News Network, is one of the most biased "news" networks especially considering their "unbiased" polls. Without further ado, I present my predictions for future CNN polls:

Social Issues:

My stance on gay marriage is:
[] I love homosexuals! Heck, I'd marry one!
[] They are humans and have the right to marry.
[] I'm a homophobe; gay marriage is wrong.
[] I'm a homophobe; what's a "gay"?

Should the President be cutting taxes in these economically turbulent times?
[] Yes, but only for those who are poor and/or don't pay taxes.
[] No, giving people more of their money is a recipe for trouble!
[] No, I love paying taxes. All hail Marx!
[] Yes, I'm a rich bastard with more money and I want more! MORE I SAY!

The President:

Do you think (King) George Bush deserves impeachment over Abu Ghraib?
[] Of course! He should be impeached because he can't ride a bike!
[] Yes, he wasn't elected anyway.
[] No, the president really had nothing to do with it...Just kidding, I hate him!
[] No, I'm a Nazi.

Is W scholastically challenged and/or dyslexic?
[] Duh, both! He had a "C" average at that one college he went too!
[] Yes, It would explain his ears.
[] Maybe, I mean...seriously...
[] No, and am neethur I.

The War:

The War in Iraq was:
[] A bad idea; we should leave (they were better off with Saddam).
[] A good idea; it makes G.W. and America look bad, always a plus.
[] A good idea; I'm a Nazi.
[] A bad idea; war never solved anything.

The soldiers involved in the Abu Ghraib incident should be:
[] Fed to angry, man-eating pigs (aka the Democratic Underground)
[] Publicly stoned and I don't mean ala Bob Marley
[] Handed over to the Iraqis they tortured and then stoned
[] Honorably discharged; I'm a Nazi.

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