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Wednesday, April 07, 2004

 
Collegiate Philosophy

Lou: My grandmother and I were in a store in the board games section. We were playing around with the Ouija board and I was makin' it move and my gram was like, "Oh my God!" and I was like, "Grammy it's me." Anyway, I decided I wanted the Ouija board and my grammy was gonna buy it for me. So, we're waiting in line and in front of us is this really old man wearing one of those old man hats...you know what I mean. Anyway, we're standing there and this old guy's like, "Those things are evil!" and my gram and I were like, "Yeah...weirdo." So I decide I don't want the board game and I went to take it back. Meanwhile, my gram's standing there with this guy and he's talking the whole time. By the time I get back, he's gone. His place line was gone; it was like he never existed. Here's the thing: my gram was holding this piece of paper and I asked, "What's that?" She said, "Oh that quack gave it to me." I opened up and written on it was a straight line from 1945 to 2007. Do you know what happened in 1945?

Me: The end of WWII?

Lou: Exactly. The last time the entire world was involved in war. On this line on the paper were little marks for every year up till 2007. And every year there was an event. In 2000 it said.....uehhh.....something about stuff and in 2001 it said, "A great disaster was going to take place" and the twin towers were .. yeah. Anway, after 2007 there are no entries and that's gonna be the end of the world.

Me: That's interesting and all, but since the first human had the ability to comprehend "the end" there have been predictions.

Lou: That's my point. Humans always look to the end. They're never worried about what's happening right now. They have to look to the end because it's the only thing in this world they have no idea how to do.

Me: *confused look*

Lou: Here's the thing: *pause* *as if the words are lodged in his throat* I think that every is born with the ability to do anything, they just need help getting there. Do you know what I mean? I mean, like everyone is born with the ability to play an instrument they just need help activating that part of the brain. That's why humans excel at things and animals don't. BUT the only thing a human cannot know is how to die. That's why when you dream about scary things, you always wake up that last second before you die, because you're brain doesn't know how to die. I was talkin' to Heka the other day and he said he had a dream about dying, but he could actually feel his consciousness leaving. If he were to actually die in his dream, I think he might have died.

*long silence*

Me: I think I have such a problem with death because of the idea of eternity. As a human with limited intelligence, eternity boggles my mind. To me, everything must end. Everything must go from order to disorder. The idea that something can last to infinity is impossible in my mortal brain.

Lou: Here's a little story about heaven and hell. One day this guy dies and an archangel decides to take him to heaven and hell. First they visit hell and all it is this large table with billions of people sitting on both sides (everyone that's gone to hell). There arms are chained so that they can't reach their own mouths but they can reach almost everywhere else. On the table is a huge amount of food and they are all trying to eat, but they can't reach their own mouths. Then, the archangel takes the guy to heaven and it's the exact same thing EXCEPT, instead of trying to feed themselves everyone is trying to feed each other.

Me: *non-sarcastically* Interesting.

Lou: I think that may be what heaven is...everyone just helpin' each other out; doing the right thing.

Me: Do we lose our free will in heaven?

Lou: Don't look too much into it, Newman; it was just a story...

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